During a college interview in January, I was asked to talk about the last non-school book I had read. I got flustered and explained I only read romance novels, but the interviewer just smiled and asked me to continue.
The last book I remembered reading was “Canadian Boyfriend” by Jenny Holiday, which is about a ballet teacher who falls in love with a single dad who plays hockey. They overcome issues like disordered eating, grief, manipulative parents and guilt. When I finished telling her the story, she asked me why I was embarrassed about reading romance books. I told her people have laughed at me for counting romance as a “real” book because of the sexual content and fun plots.
Sex is a natural part of many romantic relationships. It is how our species reproduces, but it is also a great source of pleasure. Books have taught me a great deal about consent, boundaries and safe sex. Because of this, I struggle to understand why so many people discount romance books due to their occasional sexual nature.
Written sexual scenes are widespread in contemporary romance novels, and many believe it is just as bad as pornography. According to the Intercommunity Peace & Justice Center, the child pornography industry is currently valued at $3 billion and growing. Additionally, upwards of 90% of women involved with pornography production may have been sexually abused as a child. Books do not contribute to the sale of child pornography or to the harm to vulnerable women. Porn often portrays sex in unrealistic ways while books almost always include discussion of birth control, safe words and mutual pleasure. Because of this, books tend to have a more realistic view on sex.
There are no parallels between reading sexual scenes and watching them through a porn website. Romance books, which are typically written by and catered toward women, do not further harm to sex-trafficking victims. I’d much rather my child read about healthy communication and conflict resolution with a side of sex than be exposed to potentially dangerous videos online.
Romance books are more than just the occasional sex scene. The viral book “Icebreaker” by Hannah Grace is graphic, but it also discusses athletic injuries, disordered eating, anxiety and toxic relationships. Beyond that, there are so many romance books with little sexual activity.
Additionally, romance novels have a plot just like any other book. “Kissing Kosher” by Jean Meltzer centers around two Jewish bakers in a modern “Romeo and Juliet” retelling while also threading in topics like chronic illness. For a more PG-13 story, I’d direct you to “This Is Me Trying” by Racquel Marie, which is a second-chance romance about two grief-stricken, bisexual teens.
Finally, books are meant to expose you to experiences different from yours. Helen Hoang writes books about Asian-Americans and autistic people. Abby Jimenez often features Hispanic-Americans and miscarriages in her novels. There is lots of diversity in the romance genre, so there is something for everyone.
In 2022, a Gallup poll found Americans read about 13 books a year. I read 35 books last year, and I’ve read 44 so far this year. In an age of rampant online propaganda and doom scrolling, I’d much rather read what I like than not read at all.