With every winner there must also be a loser: in fantasy football the goal is to win, but the real objective is to not finish last.
Senior Dylan Guistolise said he placed last in his fantasy football league this year. His punishment was to drink a gallon of milk before running a mile.
“Our league created a wheel in which everyone in the league got to create a punishment,” he explained. “The wheel had tons of horrible punishments on it like 24 hours at Waffle House and the dog cage. Once the wheel was completed, I spun it.”
This wasn’t Guistolise’s first time placing last in his fantasy football league, as he said he also lost last year and had to do the popular dog cage punishment. The punishment consists of putting the loser in a dog cage and allowing everyone else in the league to dump various food products on the person, such as ketchup, eggs and sardines.
This year’s punishment was amusing for his league mates, who watched, laughed and recorded him running the dreaded milk mile, Guistolise said.
“When I was running the mile, the people in my league were laughing a lot, which didn’t help,” he said.
Guistolise said he endured several negative lasting effects from his punishment, including constant stomach pain for the next three days.
The reason he placed last, Guistolise said, was not because of his team, but instead because his opponents’ teams would play better than he expected whenever they were matched up against his team.
“My players were average, but I had the most points against, which meant people scored a lot against me,” he explained.
Likewise, sophomore Jackson Frey placed last in his fantasy football league and was sentenced to the dog cage punishment. His punishment was decided by the people who made the playoffs within his league, he explained.
Frey said the dog cage punishment can leave the loser with an unbearable odor that can be very difficult to remove. The people in his league poured cream of onion soup, corn, syrup, flour, tomato sauce and anchovies on him, he added.
“There were really no long-lasting effects besides the fact that I smelled horrible for the rest of the day,” Frey explained. “I used every soap in my house to try to mask the smell.”
Frey said his friends were recording him and laughing the entire time. He added the people in his league made him stay in the cage for a long time after they were done because they wanted him to really soak in the punishment and the odors from all of the ingredients.
This was Frey’s first time losing the league. The main reason for the losing season came in the third week of the league, when he traded away three of his players for three players from another team.
“I traded three guys who weren’t doing well at all for three guys who were, and then the guys I got started playing horribly while the players I traded away started doing well,” Frey said.
Senior Nolan Place’s punishment was similar to the dog cage punishment; but with an important twist.
“I was tied to a chair, and my friends poured whatever they wanted on me, such as ketchup, mustard and flour,” he explained.
The punishment was suggested by one of Place’s friends, and they all thought it was very funny and amusing, so they went through with it, he said. He added that when he was going through with the punishment, everyone thought it was quite funny but also very gross.
This was Place’s second time losing the league.
“I drafted Johnathan Taylor first overall last year, and this year I drafted Justin Jefferson first overall, and they both got hurt at the beginning of the season,” he added.
Place said he is fed up with his back-to-back punishments and losses. He has his eyes set on a win next season.
“I am gonna play the draft smartly in order to put myself in a position to win,” he said.
